whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
