I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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