Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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