how can u be prego again
You smell like stripper and shame
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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