she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
