It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
