atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
