I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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