hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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