I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
