Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
