Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
