I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
