My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
