fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
