weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
