clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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