You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just found a bag of teeth...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
