I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
