i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
