Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
