peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
