he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
