I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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