If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I AM VODKA MAN
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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