Just mADE A PArabola og urine
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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