so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
