My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
