Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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