Only a mothe r could love this liver
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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