I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
