I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
