just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
