Define "chronic" masturbator.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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