well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
