six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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