summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
