Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
babies were throwing up all over the place
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
