I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
