Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
