i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
