Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Shame - the story of my life.
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