My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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