oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
