I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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