these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
