Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
