new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
