i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
