i was rollin on her like bob the builder
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
