i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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