I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
