i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
