just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
