If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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